manifests in the material realm as a giant crystal monster and menacingly points towards a bounty with an ominous “YOU”, then like half an hour later resorts to imitating a god and is surprised when it works
kravitz: [tosses a rock through a hole] merleee~~ merle it’s me~~ it’s– it’s me, pannn~~ turn around you fool~~
HOW MANY OTHER TIMES HAS HE DONE THIS. JUST. NOT BEEN ABLE TO CATCH A BOUNTY AND DECIDES TO PULL SOME SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON BULLSHIT.
fucks up hitting a prone target and makes a joke about performance anxiety. while fighting. some wily ass motherfuckers who have died, cumulatively, 70+ times. and have continually outrun him.
watches these dorks fight for a few minutes and retreats while yelling about how fucked up they are
gets so heated while yelling at them about dying so much that he doesn’t notice a ghost jailbreak happening behind him
pops up in a janky robot body after the big boss battle and tries to bargain with them like he has any semblance of an upper hand here
kravitz: the apocalypse would’ve looked really bad on my quarterly review, so i’m letting you off just this once
“i’ve got to switch between different accents to trick my prey”
“i can also do a bunch of fun michael winslow style sound effects [machine gun noise]”
“AWRIGHT LET ME JUST SWITCH TO MY COCKNEY CARD PLAYIN VOICE”
chilled on taako’s couch for god knows how long so he could greet him dramatically
ran out of time while discussing refuge with taako, gave him his phone number, and agreed to meet him at a place called the chug and squeeze
anxiously suggesting they meet up again as his date is digging through his belongings looking for a lich
[his boyfriend materializes a mile-wide gateway to the astral plane, freeing him from his terrifying isolation] WAIT LET ME WARM UP MY FACE I DON’T WANT THIS TO BE COLD AND WEIRD
takes taako on vacations to the astral plane, probably thinks a boat ride over the soul sea is romantic
hasn’t had a boyfriend or any social interaction outside of goddesses and necromancers for multiple centuries and it shows
Important additions to this bc I Love This Boy So Much:
halfway through his whole “merle….. ~turn around merle~….” he just goes “dammit merle” and laughs and its adorable
“I don’t even know how that worked out, like, with physics”
Materialises in a mirror just to insult Merle
“Meeerrrrrlllle fuckin’ Highchurch. Care to take a guess?” “I’m just surprised my middle name is fuckin’!” [complete deadpan sarcasm] “Are you?”
His bad Dracula accent
“That’s probably more than the three of you have got left in you.” “Wait, what?” “I’m just saying, based on your sorta, habits…”
“themysterycontinues BYE”
“Taako there’s something dangerous and undead here there’s a lich.” “Is it in my umbrella?” “N O, T A A K O.”
I really love retro posters and photoshopping ok and this one didn’t turn out so great but whatever here it is anyway. This is made, primarily, from a poster for Redwoods National Park.
Lesetoilesfous 