Tag: kravitz

rapacityinblue:

atalana:

jumpboy-rembrandt:

goofy canon kravitz things:

  • manifests in the material realm as a giant crystal monster and menacingly points towards a bounty with an ominous “YOU”, then like half an hour later resorts to imitating a god and is surprised when it works
    • kravitz: [tosses a rock through a hole] merleee~~ merle it’s me~~ it’s– it’s me, pannn~~ turn around you fool~~
    • HOW MANY OTHER TIMES HAS HE DONE THIS. JUST. NOT BEEN ABLE TO CATCH A BOUNTY AND DECIDES TO PULL SOME SATURDAY MORNING CARTOON BULLSHIT.
  • fucks up hitting a prone target and makes a joke about performance anxiety. while fighting. some wily ass motherfuckers who have died, cumulatively, 70+ times. and have continually outrun him.
  • watches these dorks fight for a few minutes and retreats while yelling about how fucked up they are
  • gets so heated while yelling at them about dying so much that he doesn’t notice a ghost jailbreak happening behind him
  • pops up in a janky robot body after the big boss battle and tries to bargain with them like he has any semblance of an upper hand here
    • kravitz: the apocalypse would’ve looked really bad on my quarterly review, so i’m letting you off just this once
  • “i’ve got to switch between different accents to trick my prey”
    • “i can also do a bunch of fun michael winslow style sound effects [machine gun noise]”
    • “AWRIGHT LET ME JUST SWITCH TO MY COCKNEY CARD PLAYIN VOICE”
  • chilled on taako’s couch for god knows how long so he could greet him dramatically
  • ran out of time while discussing refuge with taako, gave him his phone number, and agreed to meet him at a place called the chug and squeeze
  • anxiously suggesting they meet up again as his date is digging through his belongings looking for a lich
  • [his boyfriend materializes a mile-wide gateway to the astral plane, freeing him from his terrifying isolation] WAIT LET ME WARM UP MY FACE I DON’T WANT THIS TO BE COLD AND WEIRD
  • takes taako on vacations to the astral plane, probably thinks a boat ride over the soul sea is romantic
  • hasn’t had a boyfriend or any social interaction outside of goddesses and necromancers for multiple centuries and it shows

Important additions to this bc I Love This Boy So Much:

  • halfway through his whole “merle….. ~turn around merle~….” he just goes “dammit merle” and laughs and its adorable
  • “I don’t even know how that worked out, like, with physics”
  • Materialises in a mirror just to insult Merle
  • “Meeerrrrrlllle fuckin’ Highchurch. Care to take a guess?” “I’m just surprised my middle name is fuckin’!” [complete deadpan sarcasm] “Are you?”
  • His bad Dracula accent
  • “That’s probably more than the three of you have got left in you.” “Wait, what?” “I’m just saying, based on your sorta, habits…”
  • “themysterycontinues BYE”

“Taako there’s something dangerous and undead here there’s a lich.” “Is it in my umbrella?” “N O, T A A K O.”