“I’m at 1HP and I have to be the one to go talk to the Lawmaster in the middle of the night and convince her I killed the beast and clear everyone’s name because all these lunatics are supposed to be under house arrest, and the guards think I’m drunk because I’m bleeding out at 1HP, and the Lawmaster thinks I’m a raving liar, and the merry band of lunatics got themselves and my dear goblin friend caught and arrested five minutes later anyway, and the one sane man who was supposed to be helping me with this charade has disappeared on me and now the Lawmaster thinks I may have killed an innocent carnival worker, so I’m going to sit down right here on this crate and I’m done talking to anyone because I still have 1-fucking-HP”
things that have happened between caleb and nott, aka disaster family, in actual canon no i am not making this up this really happened and no i am not over it
– caleb gives nott piggybacks. Often
– caleb puts frumpkin on nott’s shoulders to help her fight the urge to steal things
– sometimes caleb Actively Distracts shopkeepers so that Nott can have fun and steal things
– caleb musses nott’s hair
– caleb squeezes nott’s cheeks
– nott gives caleb money to buy books
– nott is running away, until she sees caleb in danger, at which point she charges a 10 feet tall literal actual hellspawn with a shortsword
– when she isn’t able to heal him, nott physically covers caleb with her body to protect him
– and then he repays the favour when they’re on trial despite the fact he’s basically bleeding out and physically protects her with his body (’they stare at her’/ ‘no, they stare at caleb’s chest, because he’s standing in front of her’)
– caleb just picks nott up, this is a thing that happens
– caleb hears nott stealing stuff and finds it endearing
– caleb and nott have pretended to be father and daughter
– caleb has dragged nott out of an establishment in order to stop her getting in trouble for stealing stuff. note, not to stop her stealing stuff.
– nott insisted on going to a healing shop over shiny things because she’s so worried about caleb getting/being hurt
listen there’s a lot more but i hope you see what i’m saying.
actually fuck subtext what i’m saying is that nott and caleb are found family and their relationship means the world to me. feel free to add more and literally actually make my day.
Ok fuck I ship it
Listen just the whole:
“Listen, full disclosure, I’m kind of a mess”
“You can trust us, you’re safe here”
“Lets make this work”
I’m gone. I’m dead. It’s over.
CALEB THINKS HEARING NOTT STEAL STUFF IS ENDEARING I AM SO INVESTED IN THIS TINY DISASTER FAMILY
listen I know it’s a con but Caleb just called Nott his daughter and I DIED
Lesetoilesfous 