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Headcanon A: what I think realistically

Shouto isn’t dense, he’s quiet and dealing with trauma. If I was gonna put him in a slightly more realistic world than superpower shounen (not that this world isn’t awesome) he’s functioning pretty well all things considered. But honestly, rich celebrity overachiever? I don’t really buy the idea that he’s so totally socially awkward/dense that he doesn’t understand how people work. I feel like what actually happens is that Shouto bites his tongue/controls his reactions, and sasses when he thinks he can get away with it. I think he’s holding a lot of things in, and it’s difficult to manage. But yeah, I also think that whilst he might not know the latest memes, he’s going to have had at the very least media training/ a nauseating amount of fancy parties to attend, so he has to know how to hold a conversation.

(Heads up, because this is about Shouto, this post will contain references to abuse)

Headcanon B: what I think is fucking hilarious

Shouto knows how to hold himself, but his boundaries are way off the mark. So he takes things that aren’t serious way too seriously, and considers things that are very serious to not be serious at all. I think this is more fun if he deliberately messes with people (especially Bakugou and Jirou) but I also think sometimes stuff just flies over his head. This leads to a series of increasingly ridiculous misunderstandings and, as Shouto grows and escapes his abusive household, turns into an in joke. So these days, when he’s free and safe and recovering, he’ll look at Iida and Deku, barely containing a smile, and explain that he’s a ‘hand-crusher’. Bonus points for Shouto doing this with paparazzi/media, and his 1A friends just cracking up whilst Shouto looks the reporter dead in the eye with an absolutely straight face and just says the most ludicrous bs. “No, I haven’t heard of Pepe the Frog. Are they another hero? Do they work in this area?” Etc

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

Part of Shouto’s awkwardness comes from a combination of abuse and triggers. Sometimes he shuts down because he’s triggered, and reacts disproportionately according to the trigger. There’s a specific thing some abusers do that’s along the gaslighting spectrum, and I wouldn’t put it past Enji: where they essentially force their victims to control their expressions/not flinch/run away/fight back etc. Which is awful. I imagine that sometimes when Shouto shuts down it’s just retreating into that shell, and sometimes it takes him a long time to come back out. Personally, I hc that the reason Shouto was so rude to Inasa at the UA entrance exam was because of something like this.

#option D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

LITERALLY ANY OF THE ADULTS WHO WORK WITH VICTIMS OF TRAUMA NOTICES THAT SHOUTO IS SEVERELY TRAUMATISED AND WORK TO GET HIM OUT OF THE DANGEROUS ENVIRONMENT IN WHICH HE LIVES.

This particular thing continues to drive me insane. I know it’s shounen, so you know, we won’t get it. But if these people can recognise that Eri was abused then they can recognise that Shouto is. It’s vitally important that he not stay in that goddamn house, and it makes no sense to me that none of the professional heroes have noticed the issues this teenager is going through. Considering their line of work, and the whole working with victims thing, and the fact that teenagers aren’t adults and they aren’t as good at hiding secrets? Idk it feels like saying yes there is a school full of competent social workers spending significant amounts of contact time with a severely traumatised kid experiencing regular physical abuse. But none of them notice? Nah. Nope. Absolutely not. 

The UA staff notice. Shouto gets out. Enji quietly retires and literally any other professional hero takes his place.