Cannot recommend WDHDT highly enough. I’ve found it helpful not just for romantic relationships, but also for growing up w a “unexplainable/uncontrollable” dad.
IT HAS ALSO BEEN REALLY HELPFUL FOR UNDERSTANDING ONLINE MOB HARASSMENT.
So if you’ve ever been bombarded w threats to be raped/killed, (so…if you’re a minority and you’ve been on the Internet for a while), this book might be useful for getting clarity around the whole entitled, abusive mindset that drives certain kinds of people to behave that way. And by “getting clarity”, I mean (for me) being able to go “oh, that’s what’s happening” and not really feel scared anymore. Or angry, or drawn out into it, or anything.
And if you’re still standing around going “but how does something like GamerGate happen?” or “but why do men hit their wives?” or whatever – please read that book and learn something.
^^^^ truth WDHDT is fantastic at cutting down MRA bullshit and calling it what it really is
Please consider reading these. WDHDT is really, really helpful. And I know some of you are struggling with abusive relationships, friendships, families, etc. You’re not alone. There is help.
Yo. This family holiday, please, please take care of yourself. You aren’t there to be anybody else’s cushion.
Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents: How to Heal from Distant, Rejecting, or Self-Involved Parents
Reading any of these books does not mean you don’t love your parents or family. It’s just self care for helping you cope and not repeat the behaviors.
All the books in this thread are great; adding this one because it was the most helpful to me. Free pdf here
toxic parents is the book i checked out from the library last january that REALLY SINCERELY helped kickstart my road to recovery. even if you are not a victim of abuse, they are invaluable reasources, but help pass them around so people who have been abused can have access to material that actually, genuinely, sees them and provides them with concrete help
Unfortunate reminder that domestic violence in England goes up by 26% when England plays and 38% when they lose.
For anyone who needs it tonight, the national helpline for domestic violence is 0808 2000 247 (it’s free and available 24hrs). Please consider sharing this even if you’re not an England fan.
Rei meets Inko at her job interview. She’d found the posting online a few days earlier and scheduled the meeting in an almost impulsive streak, before the decision could be second-guessed. There is nothing very impressive about the position, small and secretarial as it is. But the office is close, and Rei only plans on working a day one or two days a week. It’s an important thing, getting a job – a priority. Like proof almost, that she can get back on her own two feet after fourteen years of reliance.
The hiring manager is named Midoriya Inko. She is a small, slight women with dark green hair and wide expressive eyes. Rei meets her at a nearby coffee shop, dressed smartly, stomach a mess of anxiety and anticipation.
It’s been so long since Rei’s done anything like an interview.
so – slice of life abuse escape story about the todoroki siblings pulling together and pulling through and getting the fuck away from their father, helping their mum recover and un-gaslight herself, and protecting their baby brother, yes?
Do any of y’all ever get like aftershock memories of your trauma? Like I knew x, y and z was bad but oh shit, turns out That Thing was also terrible. Yay.
my boss/teacher/co-workers/friends: wow, you’re really great at staying calm under pressure in such a stressful environment. How do you do it??
my traumatised ass: it’s my natural habitat
fun fact: literally every time i encounter a new health/counselling/therapy service and i get a call or assessment appointment, i get asked whether i’ve considered taking my parents to court. i got asked that on friday. it’s…it’s just really weird
i’ve had clinical depression for 9 years. when new places ask about it i have to go into history, and because my depression and anxiety can be connected to my upbringing, that ends up coming up. then i get all the questions about the abuse: are you safe, are your parents near children, what happened exactly etc etc
like this phone call? hard 30 min limit. just supposed to diagnose mental health. but halfway through we’re talking about the abuse stuff and she’s like ‘listen, i have to ask, have you considered taking your parents to court’
and here’s the thing. i love my friends, dearly. none of my close friends live in the same city as me. i can’t very well go messaging them out of the blue with this crap. it’s stressful enough for me and i’m used to it. and i can’t tell people i know in this city because i just don’t know them well enough.
so i just walk around feeling like…like i have this big secret i can’t tell people. a serious, important secret. and it’s so weird and i hate it and yeah. i don’t know it just knocks me off balance
Me: (praying) please god Horikoshi please do NOT give Endeavour a ‘redemption arc’ or any other bullshit that makes his abuse of Shouto ‘okay’ or says that Shouto should ‘be the bigger person’ and ‘forgive’ him because honestly if that happens I will not be able to deal with it
Lesetoilesfous 