so i just wanna say. re: syldor. that as much as he had nice things to say about the twins – and i’m glad that he did – there’s a lot in syldor’s language that is really casually cruel and carefully spoken and just, kudos to mercer for working in that paradox of syldor sort of becoming a better man and sort of being proud but still just lacking what the twins need from him

cases in point:

– Syldor doesn’t believe them the first or second times they tell him that they’ve killed a dragon

– when they talk about the shademurk: “But by all means, you’ve always been ones seeking the darkness.”

– “your presence here brings up difficult memories for me” ~ emphasis on the for me. not, you know. new wife. any of his three children. it’s difficult for him.

– “others have been ostracized in their own right” ~ polite way of saying would never have been welcome here, coward’s way of saying were profoundly and irrevocably failed by me years ago

– “just leave me to my business please,” ~ euphemistic way to tell your children that they’re not welcome in your house, which was once theirs

– “I am proud. I. Am Proud. But the city lives differently. Understand the difficulty that your presence puts upon our family with you being here. I mean no disrespect, and it’s fine in this trying time. But while you two may have undergone much ridicule in your youth, I saved you from the brunt of it.” ~ here’s a thing. this is where Syldor is deeply, inherently flawed, not some kind of super villain. Because it sounds nice, sort of. But what he’s doing here is pushing responsibility for discrimination against the twins back onto them. He was such a hero, such a martyr, for even trying to protect them against the prejudices of the world he brought them into, knowing what they’d face. Masterful use of the passive voice. 

– “Because I had hope that you would be worth more, given that you had my blood in your veins, than to waste away in some hovel.” ~ hey, fun detail, Syldor had sex with Elaina and thought she lived in a hovel, got her pregnant but gave her no money to help her leave, saw her as essentially disposable apparently – because her blood in the twins’ veins is meaningless. Also, you know. Twins apparently only existed to Syldor as a product of him. 

– “There are many things we wish for but we have no choice but to take what we are given and make the best with what we have. Even with this rift, there is still a part of me that cares for you both and is genuinely happy that you live.” ~ this is fun. this is Syldor’s reply to Vex saying she wishes she could pull his blood from her veins. Right before he goes on to say the twins are inspiring. Bit that stuck out to me? there is still a part of him that’s happy they’re alive. A part. Not all of him. Not unconditionally, Not without restraint. Only in part. Fun fact: really not how parenting is meant to work.

– “And that you prove what the rest of these fools in this city said you were incapable of. Yes, I am prejudiced. But I still fight it every day.” ~ yes, i share the sentiments of the people who bullied and discriminated against you. yes, despite defending them from the bullies, he’s thought the same things.  and what a hero, what a great man he is, for fighting against his better instincts to think of his children as people. this is some mr darcy’s first terrible proposal level shit, and crueller because it’s from a father to his children. 

– “So. Care not what I think. Care not how your mother died. Just avenge it. For both of us. Show your little sister that you can rise up and destroy whatever comes in your way.” ~ CARE NOT HOW YOUR MOTHER DIED. Do I need to spell this out. It’s like, even when he’s trying to be nice. Even when he’s talking about how inspiring the twins can be. That casual cruelty comes flying out like a fucking sledgehammer because to Syldor, hey, it’s not a big deal. Big enough to motivate them, the way any tragedy might be. But not something to be careful saying. Not something to think twice about. And then, with every way he’s quietly dismissed and degraded Elaina’s memory? To invoke her? To pair her with him? That’s a great deal of arrogance or a great lack of tact and probably both. And then to bring up the sister – the sister the twins love, to be sure. But the full-blooded elf they never were, that Elaina could never have given him

– “Hate me all you want. It’s only half-scorn from me.” ~ but there is half scorn, and he can’t resist telling them that. he scorns them. his children. he hasn’t even bothered to ask them what’s happened to them since he saw them last

– “I live with my regrets. I tried to bring you up right. But that upbringing was not right for you. And by the time I tried to return you, it was too late. I’m sorry. That’s all I can say.” ~ so what he’s really saying is that he regrets the fact that vex and vax wouldn’t become what he wanted them to be, and when he realised they wouldn’t he wanted to give them back, like some kind of goddamn faulty product. and then he let them go, as children, knowing the world might kill them. is sorry really all that he can say?

– when vax says they’re never going to be a happy family, syldor just agrees. the twins have a right to their anger, syldor doesn’t really. he’s just admitting that he’s not going to try and do anything about it.